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About Me

[MY]

Sebahagiannya mengenali saya sebagai penulis buku bestsellers, pendakwah bebas, penceramah motivasi, ahli parti yang kontroversi, pengkaji sejarah dan senarai itu meleret-leret tersusun sepanjang 40 tahun kehidupan. Semakin dekat seseorang itu dengan saya, ada yang mengenali sebagai kenalan, rakan, ahli pasukan, majikan, rakan kerja, pekerja, teman, sahabat, anak, adik, suami, dan ayah. Lebih dekat lagi, adalah diri. Saya tidak kenal siapa diri saya. Di sebalik ‘kejayaan’, ada pertarungan berat di dalam diri. Di sebalik pertarungan itu, lahir banyak hasil kerja yang kreatif dan ramai yang meminati serta memanfaatkannya. Namun di belakangnya juga ada kegagalan demi kegagalan, sehingga diri itu tadi mula hilang keyakinan terhadap keupayaannya. Aku malas, aku tidak fokus, aku hanya pandai cakap, dan sebab itulah ijazah sarjana muda memakan masa 8 tahun, dan ijazah sarjana gagal berulang-ulang kali. Sudah masuk usia lebih 40 tahun, kerjaya masih tidak stabil dan teraba-raba apa sebenarnya yang dimahukan dalam hidup ini. Sehinggalah diagnosis itu datang, bernama ADHD.

[EN]

Some know me as the author of many national bookseller¬†masterpieces, public speaker, motivator, a controversial member of a political party, a public historian and the list continues along this 40 years of age. The closer people are to me, they know me as a friend, a team member, a boss, a staff, a colleague, a friend, an acquaintance, a son, a brother, the husband, and the daddy. A little bit closer, the self. I myself do not understand the self. Behind that self, many creative outcomes appeared and people admire and benefiting them. But behind many of those successful stories, there is a battle hidden beneath, series of failure, that he¬†started to doubt the self, and its ability. I am lazy, I don’t focus, I am just good at talk, fail to walk, and perhaps this is why my bachelor degree took 8 years to complete. I failed three attempts to complete my master degree despite achieving highest grade for almost all coursework and at the age of 40s, career is far from any sense of stability, groping his way through the smoke, what does he actually want in this life. Until the diagnosis arrived, known as the ADHD.