Wanna Sleep And Not Waking Up Until Everything is Over

It’s hard to describe the mental state at the moment.

I am not working in critical fields, not among frontliners dealing with COVID-19. I am just at home, cooking, cleaning, taking care of four teenage kids, the regular stuffs I have been doing for the past almost four years, on my own. Nothing much extra. Except… in my already limited aloneness, I lost my ‘me time’ almost completely.

Mind is overwhelmed, too much stress, feeling like oh dear COVID-19, if you’re planning to include me among your victim, please do it fast. Do it now. I am tired of being worried. Hard to tell the kids that please be careful, and when come home, don’t act smart ignoring my reminder for your to PROPERLY wash your hands.

I want to sleep, and not waking up until everything is over.

What’s The Point

What is the point of being smart if nothing is coming out of it.

I am too tired.

I want to quit.

But the guilt is mountainous.

Sometimes I feel like going to sleep, hoping not to wake up again.